A rabbi had to spend time in a Catholic hospital. He became friends with the Sister who was a nurse there.(Note: I changed the religious affiliation on this one.)
One day, she came into his room and noticed that the crucifix on the wall was missing. She asked him good-naturedly, "Rabbi, what have you done with the crucifix?"
"Oh, sister," chuckled the rabbi, "I just figured one suffering Jew in this room was enough."
A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to church.
Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the priest went to see him. He found him in excellent health.
The priest asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at Mass anymore?"
The old man looked around and lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Father," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!"