A Call For Mercy

Today marks the beginning of the Divine Mercy Novena. A devotion which has gained popularity over the last two decades, it recitation over the next nine days earns those who pray it a plenary indulgence (subject to the usual conditions).

I have sporadically posted about this, mostly as a reminder about the start of the novena. For further information, go here.

"Jesus, I trust in You."

Night Shadows Falling

"Tenebrae factae sunt super universam terram."

"There was darkness over the whole earth."

This fragment from the Gospel of St. Matthew (cf. 27:45) sets the mood for the next three liturgical days.

The Light of the World is preparing to be extinguished.

Up to this point He had never shone brighter. His entrance into Jerusalem showed that. The crowds were at fever pitch. Sacred and secular authorities wondered what would happen now.

Satan was ready to strike. He had prepared someone to aid in his bidding. It only cost 30 pieces of silver.

But there was still much to be done. His last Passover meal on earth, merged with the eternal Wedding Feast. The "first" Tenebrae service in Olivet. The two trials. All the tribulations. The "Via Dolorosa".

The somberness underlying Holy Thursday morphs into the utter desolation of Good Friday and the grieving of Holy Saturday. The Church dutifully notes this in Her rites and rituals.

There is still much to be done. While "Do this in remembrance of Me" specifically refers to the institution of the Mass, could it not be said in a general way about the whole of the liturgical calendar and even more so the Sacred Triduum? It is these next three days, our High Holy Days, with all of their ceremonies, that our Lord and Saviour will shine the brightest.

Take part as best as you are able. “The light will be among you only a little while. Walk while you have the light, so that darkness may not overcome you. Whoever walks in the dark does not know where he is going. While you have the light, believe in the light, so that you may become children of the light.” (John 12:35-36)

The darkness comes soon enough.

Lent is over.

Tenebrae factae sunt super universam terram.

April 2021 Morning Offering Prayer Intention

Here is the intention for this month when prayer the Morning Offering:

Fundamental rights. We pray for those who risk their lives while fighting for fundamental rights under dictatorships, authoritarian regimes and even in democracies in crisis.

A reflection for this intention is found here. 

Those "Words" Again

Holy Week is here.

Palm Sunday is upon us.

The most important time in the liturgical year has arrived.

Once again, we begin our journey with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ into Jerusalem as He begins "His hour". And while the route seems familiar and the events easy to recall, one can find a way to perceive this most sacred event in a new way. We can enter into the Paschal Mystery humbly and open our ears, minds, hearts, and souls to the denouement of "The Greatest Story Ever Told".

As I have since the inception of this 'blog, I once again offer you my reflections on the "Seven Last Words", the sentences spoken by our Lord while He hung upon the Cross. This series of short meditations, incomplete as they are, are nothing but an invitation to discover others who have much more to say, both in volume and in profundity. Like my series on the "O" Antiphons, they are a way to bring this time of preparation to a culmination.

I hope you find them useful.

I hope to see you later.

When "His hour" arrives at last.

Another Death Remembered

For many, 2020 will always be associated with the COVID-19 pandemic and all the drama surrounding it. Yes, that affected me as well, but it wasn't the most important event of that year. Something more personal took center stage, a different kind of life-or-death scene, one I didn't mention in my annual year-end review because it deserved a post of its own.

Well, this is it.

This is the one-year anniversary of the death of my mother, Helen Marie (Sheely) Rolling. Unlike my father, I knew her demise was coming. However, like my father, the promise to stay close to her was never realized.

And, like my father, let me relate the story of her final moments on earth, as best as I know them.

Lines Of Communication(?)

You have met her before. I mentioned her in my re-telling of my father's passing and my move to Utah. Like me, she had her financial struggles, but at least she was able to find work as a waitress in the small town where she lived, much like she did when I was growing up. It would seem she did alright, for there were two occasions when she gave me money. Let's just say I owe my siblings and nieces and nephews a little something for her dipping out of her estate like she did. (Only a mother's love....)

The contact between us was sporadic at best, especially after my move here. She was better at calling me than I ever would be. There would be the occasional letter from her, many of them obituary notices of relatives. And while I would send Mother's Day and Christmas cards, I would frequently miss her birthday. There was encouragement to be more communicative. I do and don't know why I wasn't. (The knowing why is an excuse.)

She kept things to herself so as to not worry those around her. That made the next piece of information stunning.

"Double, Double Toil And Trouble...."

My younger and only sister has been the go-between for her and my other siblings, communicating things on a need to know basis. When she contacted me in late September, 2011 requesting a phone call, what she relayed to me during that conversation was troubling.

Mom had developed breast cancer about two months earlier. She was set for removal of some lumps the doctor found and then would start chemotherapy about a month after that, I was told. I was glad it was discovered early. I was optimistic about her chances for recovery. However, she did not respond well to the chemo after two rounds, so she went on a hormone regimen that was to last for 5 years. I was still optimistic. 

Shortly after that conversation with my sister, my maternal grandmother, her mother, died. The trip back to the midwest for the funeral would be the first time in over four years that I had seen her; in fact I spent that time living with her in her apartment. Unfortunately, we didn't have much to say to each other. (Was that really the right time to thaw out a relationship which seemed to have grown icy?)

Then, early in June, 2012, my sister infomed me Mom had surgery to remove part of her colon. She had developed cancer there. But, again I was hopeful because they caught it early.

And on the medical front, nary a peep was heard. Until...

The Beginning Of The End

It was a short note written by Mom. (While the only postmark was December 6, 2019, after I had re-read it, I just wonder if it wasn't written a day earlier.):

Hi Ron!

I should have written this back a while ago.

The cancer has come back, also I have a mass in my stomach.

There isn't much more I can tell you at this time. I've been through a lot of tests and now it seems to be a waiting game.

If you think you want more information you can talk with (my sister's name).

Take care!

Love you!

Mom

Quite the Christmas present.

It wasn't until early January when my sister called me. She told me the breast cancer had metastasized in her ribs and the mass in her "stomach" (actually, her colon) would require complete removal of that organ, which my mom didn't want. My sister confirmed what I had suspected--any further treatment was only going to delay the inevitable. After 8 and 1/2 years, she wasn't going to fight it anymore.

She was preparing to die.

End Of Days

And I had to prepare for that as well. No prognosis was given. And I had no way to get out to see her at that time. My plan was to save up enough money and go see her during spring break, which was the end of March.

That didn't happen.

A message from my sister on February 27:

I got a call early this morning that mom was in a lot of pain. I've been with her all day and we seem to have the pain under control. The nurses said she couldn't be alone any more so I will be taking her to (a hospice in the city where my sister lives) tomorrow morning.

I had sent a birthday card earlier that week; I could only hope it got to her in time. March 1, her birthday, came and went; but I could only wonder when the hourglass would run out of sand.

The answer came March 8 (from my sister):

Morning. The nurse on duty feel that Mom will pass today. I'll call when she does but trying to give a little notice. I have my phone on silent so you can call but I might not catch it right away.

And the waiting began. It ended at about 10:55 PM, when the phone finally rang. My sister told me about what time she died and that she went peacefully. (Thank you, St. Joseph.)

Post-Mortem

Monday was spent getting ready to leave:  purchasing a bus ticket, arranging for substitutes crossing guards until next Monday, and letting my supervisor know. The director of the choir in which I sing, who had been in the loop for the past two months, provided some funding for my trip. The bus route was all too familiar and relatively uneventful; the leg to Denver, with a full coach, some hints of sickness, and a cranky toddler, was the only unpleasantness I encountered. My sister picked me up at Sioux Falls, SD Wednesday morning for the drive home, where I took possession of my mom's car (pre-arranged in January) and some items from my mom's apartment. A maternal cousin offered me a room in her home for the duration. Thursday morning saw me driving to Mankato, MN, where I reintroduced myself to my storage unit, picking up a few more items and re-arranging things.

The wake was Thursday night. Familiar faces came and went (sometimes after they reminded me who they were).Townsfolk spoke glowingly about my mom, and for seemingly good reason. The priest modified the rite a bit, I think mostly to appease the lapsed and non-Catholics there. But he also said my Mom received the Apostolic Pardon. I still prayed a Rosary before her coffin, as it wasn't done until then.

The Mass of Christian Burial was Friday morning. Mom had selected both readings and hymns for this liturgy. I found myself in a very familiar role--Lay Reader. The selections for the Liturgy of the Word:

1st. Reading:  Isaiah 25:6-9

Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 23:1-6

2nd. Reading: 2 Corinthians 5:1, 6-10

Gospel: John 14:1-6

I had an opportunity to speak to the cantor/psalmist and keyboardist before Mass, just to make sure we were on the same page. (UPDATED 5/22/2021--I had the Entrance and Communion hymns reversed.) The hymns:

Entrance:  Precious Lord, Take My Hand

Offertory:  You Are Mine

Communion:  We Walk By Faith

Song of Farewell:  O Loving God (The text is a variation of In Paradisium, sung to the tune of "Londonderry Air".)

Recessional:  On Eagle's Wing

(My only critique of the soloist was with the Responsorial Psalm. It seemed like she put every syllable in its own box, instead of a more recitative-like quality.)

The homily was very good. The priest paralleled the last two months of Mom's life with Lent. He noted she started Lent early and was well prepared for Easter.

After the Rite of Christian Burial, I reacquainted myself with the parish cemetery. My parents are not the only family members interred there; there are also both of my paternal grandparents, a paternal aunt, and my paternal great-grandfather. (There may be other, but those graves were in the area.) Extra prayers were in order.

The lunch afterward was a great time to begin reconnecting, however slightly, with both sides of my family. The last time anyone on my dad's side saw me might have been at his funeral. The bonds are tenuous but there. The ball's in my court to strengthen them.

After a couple of hours everybody began to go their separate ways. I spent one more night here.

The Return Trip

I wanted to stay an extra day, but the weather forecast heading back was a bit iffy. The country was also beginning to shut down, as the pandemic was just beginning to rear its ugly head. Come late Saturday morning, I was on the road, stopping for lunch in Mitchell, SD.

The goal was to overnight in Cheyenne, WY. Other than a brief rain/snow mix outside of Rapid City, SD, the weather held. I left Rapid City around 6:00 PM, traveling unfamiliar roads. Fortunately, I did borrow a GPS, so that made navigation a little easier. It was a very winding route, though, Then, about an hour outside of Cheyenne, I ran into one of those famous Wyoming snow storms. Visibility was minimal; the fact one of my headlights burned out didn't help. Just on the outskirt of the capital city, a signal warning me I was running very close to empty sounded. I made it, and then found a gas station and a room for the night.

Sunday morning broke clear and cool, as if the squall the night before never happened. I assisted at Mass at the Cathedral of St. Mary and was headed west shortly after 11:00 AM. A lunch stop at Larramie, a gas stop at Evanston, WY, and shortly after 6:00 PM, I was back home.

Just in time, as it turned out.

Teachable Moments

Now, after a year, there are things upon which to reflect.

My mom did reach out to me at various points in my life. She was the one who told me how proud she was of me after I graduated high school. She was the one who said to me, "I love you;" words that had never been uttered in that household until after my father's death. I never doubted her sincerity; I still haven't been able to enthrone them in my being. I didn't know how to accept them. I know she was trying to en-courage me; I don't think she knew how many holes I had (and have) in my psyche. There will always be a perception in me that I have failed my parents.

But, if I ever want an example of how to die well, I don't have to look far. She showed grace, dignity, peace of heart, and acceptance of God's will in that moment.

I can't make my relationships with my parent right anymore, but perhaps this is the motivation to start mending fences with my siblings. The focus of the 4th. Commandment is gone, but not its intent.

I know nothing on earth last forever. But what I can make better, I should.

Dad and Mom, I do love you. I just didn't know how.

Requiescat In Pace.

March 2021 Morning Offering Prayer Intention

 Here is the intention for this month when prayer the Morning Offering:

Sacrament of reconciliation. Let us pray that we may experience the sacrament of reconciliation with renewed depth, to taste the infinite mercy of God.

A reflection for this intention is found here.

First--Fast; Finally--Feast

 

Lent is upon us. (Or is last year still with us?)

We come to this time in the liturgical calendar when we make our preparation for the celebration of the Passion, Death, and Resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, the culmination of of His salvific work. This is a time to rend hearts (yes, even more than they have been at times for the past year). This is a time to examine our conscience and to renew our efforts to root out sin in our lives. This is a time of atonement, penance, more earnest and sincere prayer and almsgiving. This is a time of fasting, of pruning, of weeding. This is a time to be in the presence of God, acknowledging our fallen nature and asking for forgiveness and mercy.

The imposition of ashes is a reminder of all that. It is an aid in recalling from where we came, where we are, and where we shall go. From the remnants of last year's palm branches, this sacramental marks us as children of God--entirely dependent on our Father, co-heirs with His Son, and one in the Spirit.

And so we enter the desert again. For the next forty days we are on a retreat. Our God will come to meet us as He did Elijah:  Cor Ad Cor Loquitur. We will encounter Jesus much like the woman at the well did:  only by knowing Who He Is will we know who we are.

And hopefully, when this concludes with the celebration of the Sacred Triduum, we will be a little more ready to enter this Passover Feast, where the Lamb once slain becomes our food. At this wedding banquet, the Bridegroom really and truly gives Himself to His Bride. Are we prepared to be a little more worthy to receive Him--Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity?

It takes time to prepare such a great meal. It take time to prepare ourselves for such a great meal. Forty days is no where near enough time, but it will do.

Besides, we'll have fifty days to celebrate. 

February 2021 Morning Offering Prayer Intention

Here is the intention for this month when prayer the Morning Offering:

Violence against women. We pray for women who are victims of violence, that they may be protected by society and have their sufferings considered and heeded.

A reflection for this intention is found here.

What If...?

Last Friday was the 48th. anniversary of the two United States Supreme Court decisions which in essence struck down all laws and regulations regarding abortion, Roe v. Wade and Doe v. Bolton.

Today is the day for the 48th. annual March For Life in Washington, DC, the largest gathering of those who promote the sanctity of the unborn.

However, this and other like demonstrations around the country have also fallen victim to the Covid-19 epidemic. The flagship march will be a virtual event. Tomorrow, here in Utah, instead of marching, they will be driving past the state capital in support of life. Accommodations and adaptations are in place all over the place.

Prudence does dictate not to gather en masse. But something is nagging at me and creating forehead furrows. This virus has (of this post) claimed over 2.1 million lives world wide. The economic toll, on both macro- and micro-levels, is devastating; one wonders how corporations and individuals if or will recover. But the focus of this writing is the concern I have for the pro-life movement.

Will it survive?

Why do I raise this question?

Consider the following items:

1.  The current President of the United States, Mr. Joseph R. Biden, a baptized and (self-professed) devout Roman Catholic, has been throughout his entire political career a poor-(pro-)choice advocate, even finally disavowing his support for the Hyde Amendment. Serving as Vice-President under what many people believe to be the most poor-(pro-)choice President in this country's history, Mr. Barack H. Obama, he has made it a point of not only wanting to reverse the many gains the pro-life movement made over the last four years, but also to enshrine this "Constitutional right" into federal law, perhaps along the lines of what the states of New York and Illinois enacted.

(And to his claim of being devout:  while I cannot judge the state of his soul, and understanding all too well no one perfectly practices the Faith, may I humbly suggest James 2:14-26 as a point of departure for discussion.)

2.  The Democratic Party has an unwavering commitment to "reproductive rights" and "women's health care" (their euphemisms for unrestricted abortion services), among other positions which are incompatible with Catholic teaching. Now with control of the legislative and executive branches of the federal government, their policies in this regard will have an easier time becoming true.

3.  Yes, the abortion issue had always been on a political seesaw, with the pro-life side having been in the ascendency for a while. The side in power has control over the direction it takes. Now, consider how power has shifted during this past election. With questions over the conduct of the presidential election persisting, notice which party ultimately benefited, despite the other side holding its own down the ballot. And it seems the side now in control has no interest in assuring this won't happen again.

4.  "Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely." While I think both political parties do condescendly look upon those who they purport to serve, it appears the Democrats do it a touch more overtly. And they seem to have the ways and means to act more like a bully. As an example, look at the tolerance exhibited by those whose control social platforms. Traditional, orthodox, or conservative voices are being "told" to "sit down and shut up" or else. Is that a sign of wanting total control?

5.  And you don't believe they have the tools or the will? Consider the founder of the Center for Medical Progress, David Daleiden, and the videos he produced exposing the selling of fetal tissue by Planned Parenthood. The State of California then charged him under the state's eavesdropping law. The Attorney General at that time? The current Vice-President of the United States, Ms. Kamala D. Harris, a more ardent supporter of abortion rights than the President. What the resolution is to this is not the point. The point is that it was done. Retaliation and retribution? 

Having said all that, people more intelligent than I could conjure a way to silence the pro-life movement once and for all. It would take lots of time and and lots of incremental actions. I fear it could happen. You think it can't? Remember the only rule the enemy has is the end justifies the means. If the poor-(pro-)choice crowd doesn't have any regard for the unborn, how easy could it be for them to cross the line and have no concern for those who who disagree with them? 

So, where does the pro-life movement go from here?

It will carry on, having to work harder than ever before.

It will have to watch its back.

It will need God all the more.

"St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle."

January 2021 Morning Offering Prayer Intention

Here is the intention for this month when prayer the Morning Offering:

Human fraternity. May the Lord give us the grace to live in full fellowship with our brothers and sisters of other religions, praying for one another, open to all.

A reflection for this intention is found here.

A reflection for last month's intention is found here.